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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, finding a partner has only become more confounding – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive guide to the phrases gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the recent most viral memes, by the end of this guide you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your decision to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, largely benign quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {